When your 6th childless Mother's Day falls on your birthday...

When your 6th childless Mother's Day falls on your birthday:
        I woke up today unlike most days where I had to FORCE myself to see God's goodness.  Usually before each day begins, He reminds me that His mercies are new and I praise Him before my feet ever hit the ground.  Today would be different.  Today would be hard.
        I had prayed for months and months that God would redeem my birthday this year as it fell on Mother's Day.  I thought this would be my first "earned" Mother's Day and it would also ironically be on my birthday. How much more special does it get for you God?  Maybe this is what you have been waiting for for 6 years! You needed a special day to show up and show out.  However, those months of prayer flew by and I was still left childless.  In the weeks prior, we had opportunities to adopt babies that had passed us by and what I thought to be a miraculous biological pregnancy.  I was wrong about both and I was still only a mother to my sweet heavenly babies.
        However, as I walked out to the beach that morning, the first thing I see is a mother duck with 15 little ducklings following closely behind.  God immediately put the verse Psalm 113:9 on my heart, "He settles the childless woman in her home as a happy mother of children.  Praise the Lord."  How does God speak to me in something so simple?  Thank you Lord for seeking me on my worst day in the smallest thing.  Every day He continues to whisper to me in my darkest hour, "And you will call her Faith."  I know my baby is coming and I have no doubt that I will be a mother one day, but the waiting is hard.
        Days like today make it almost impossible to combat satan.  He uses each perfect family by the pool to remind me that other families have what I so desperately desire.  They didn't have to spend thousands for a child, lose a baby to heaven, or cry daily through a continued state of childlessness.  "Happy Mother's Day!" they say through cheesy smiles in Polo shirts and Lilly Pulitzer dresses, while I could crumble like an old cookie at any second.
        However, I am reminded that God knew on May 8, 1987 that May 8, 2016 would be a struggle for me and He loved me enough to bring me through it.  Thank you, Lord, for loving me the way that you do. Thank you for choosing me.