This week I am in awe of our good, good Father...complete awe. I don’t even feel worthy enough to share our story, but God has added to our testimony so I am going to share what He has done in our family.
One day, I was checking the mail and I noticed our flowers on the porch were dying. I quickly hurried in to get a pitcher of water and as I was pouring I thought how cool that God will make these plants come back to life with just a little water. As soon as I thought it, I felt Him whisper over me “I can make what’s dormant come back to life, so don’t be surprised when I do the same for you.”
Exactly one week later, I didn’t feel like myself and I asked Joe if he thought getting a pregnancy test would be a waste of money. He said he would grab one on his way home and neither of us thought much about it. We’ve payed THOUSANDS of dollars to hear “Your pregnancy test was negative. I’m so sorry.” IUI’s, IVF, pills, shots - we’ve tried it all, with very little positive results. However, now we know that’s because God was creating Faith to be the perfect piece to our puzzle through the miracle of adoption.
This summer I was having a lot of trouble, and my Dr. thought it would be best to remove one of my ovaries due to it being extensively damaged from endometriosis. I don’t remember much about it except being hysterical after Joe told me the news when I woke up. I told him “Now I’ll NEVER get to have a baby. I’m so sorry.” He reminded me that we said for better or for worse and he would never stop loving me regardless of if I could have a baby or not and that Faith was all we needed. Our Dr. explained that our chances of having a baby were highest right after surgery. After two unsuccessful IUI cycles, we moved on with the confidence that God would perhaps continue to mold our family through adoption.
Little did we know, He had a surprise in store for us a few months later. I took that “waste of money” test and it was positive! When I read PREGNANT my mouth and knees hit the floor in awe of God letting me experience this. NEVER in 8 years did I get to take a home pregnancy test that said PREGNANT. Joe ran and hugged me when I picked my jaw off the ground and told him. Faith smiled big and danced around us because she saw how happy we both were. God had given us another miracle and we couldn’t be more grateful that He had allowed us to experience this.
Joe, Faith, and I couldn’t wait to share our exciting news with Faith’s BIG SISTER shirt; however, God had other plans. It seems that He loves our family of 3 and needed our baby in heaven more. Words cannot express what an honor it was to experience this miracle that we were told might never happen. 6 weeks of nausea, cravings, and tiredness were everything I had hoped for. For many, it was a terrible experience... but for me, it was an absolute dream. Faith was excited to get a “baby” and constantly told us she wanted a “bubba”.
We walked in to an appointment to hear the heartbeat and walked out getting prepped for surgery. I had a D&C Friday and we are confident that this will help us move forward as my body starts the healing process. We are trusting that one day there will be a purpose in our pain, just as we’ve tried to do with the other struggles we have experienced. We WILL see our heavenly babies one day and that gives me a supernatural peace that only God can give.
We ask that you please join us in prayer for God to mend our broken hearts in a way that only He can. Thank you for loving our family so well and for lifting us up in prayer during this very difficult time in our lives.
“And if not, He is STILL good” - Daniel 3:18
