My husband and I left church today and went to eat lunch with my brother. It was a normal day and we were running errands when all of a sudden, we saw her.
Last week, my former boss told me about a homeless girl that was begging for money near our local mall. He gave her some money and when she stood up, he could tell she was pretty far along in her pregnancy. He immediately called his wife to meet him so that they could both speak to her about her plan for the baby. When they got back, she was gone. He felt terrible that he didn't get to her soon enough, but he didn't want to intimidate her or speak to her without his wife around to help him.
A few days later, someone was telling me about a post they saw on Facebook. They had seen someone who was helping a pregnant homeless girl, but in the meantime she had gone into early labor and delivered a baby who was placed in the NICU. They didn't know many details, so a friend of mine called the girl to find out the real story.
This homeless girl was married to a man who was abusive and she had no plans of giving this baby up for adoption. I sent the friend of mine one of our adoption cards in hopes that the girl might consider us if she could see our desperate faces and happy smiles as we blinked back tears. I never heard from the girl, so I assumed the girl kept the baby. The baby was always mentioned in my morning prayer to the Father. I would ask Him to keep the baby safe and to give this baby a good life, regardless of these terrible circumstances she was born into. If it was meant to be, God would work it out and bring her into my life.
Joe and I were driving past the mall when I screamed, "There she is! It's her! It's her! Pull over NOW!" We drove around and looked at her face and it was definitely her. We also read her sign and it said, "Please help! Baby is in the NICU and we need your help!" I called the girl who had been helping her to see if she had any advice. She told us to park far away so that her abusive husband couldn't see our car.
Joe and I parked a mile away and with each step we took our hearts beat faster. What would we say to this girl? How do you beg someone for something you have prayed for your whole life? I tried to swallow my tears, but when we turned the corner we could see her sitting there with a big, beautiful smile. "Hi! How are you?" she said. I couldn't get any words out, but thankfully Joe could. He said the perfect words like he had practiced talking to a homeless pregnant girl his whole life. I couldn't fathom giving birth a few days before and sitting on the side of the road now. If that were my baby, I would be sitting outside the NICU watching her breathe. We gave her some money and Joe hid my number inside the bills so that her husband couldn't see the exchange.
Before we walked off, Joe asked her if we could pray for her. She said that was fine and seemed to be a believer herself. Joe's prayer was perfect and it reminded me of the night we got engaged. It was so perfect then, but I couldn't remember a word when it was over. Same thing now, I was just like Dory from Finding Nemo as it went in one ear and out the other. All I could do was sob uncontrollably. What a humbling experience this was to get to pray with a homeless girl on the side of the road. I remember telling her she was beautiful and that we were praying for her and her baby.
I wanted to stand there forever and get down on my hands and knees until she agreed to give that baby a better life. A homeless mother and an abusive father was more than I could stand for that precious newborn lying safely in a hospital bed. This time in the NICU would be the safest she would ever be in her life and it was really weighing down on me. I wanted better for her. I wanted her to be safe even more than my strong desire to be a mother.
With each step we took as we walked away, the tears fell harder. This is something Joe had gotten really good at- holding me while I cried. For 5 years, there have been more tears over our children and lost children than I care to count. However, I am thankful our God says, "You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book." (Psalm 56:8) I knew God was listening and He catches all my tears, but I truly wanted Him to intercede on this one.
As we drove home, I prayed silently as Joe listened intently to worship music. I praised God for this amazing opportunity to minister to this mother. I praised God for that precious little life laying in the hospital. I praised God for the man He created just for me. When I am weak, Joe is strong and I could not be more grateful for the wonderful man that He is. Each day, God reminds me how Joe is "fearfully and wonderfully made." Even on our worst days, we are still blessed. Today was the perfect reminder of that.
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